Submit or Admit





Hanging with a woman (26)….she expresses her trauma and her journey from then till now. Her frustrations are felt and heard…financially maybe because of decisions being made up until this point. Many ppl to talk too but less who provide direction. Mentally she screams and cries but no one listens because they are old. Their bandaids have hardened.  She’s expressed sexual abuse and physical  abuse through her family. 

She is medically diagnosed with PTSD.  She cried to me and i listened and responded…Told her yes i’d be physical with you(because in this instance we are cool and have never done anything before but tight hugs)  but you are hurt and i’d want you  in a better space. A real Space  (admitting my intent …noo not intent but thought …i am human but i’ve grown with woman.) *The cardinal rule must never be broken you show respect and restraint* (but every artist is different with process and have their own right leading too output and who’s  to tell if we have or have not that’s the magic i think… a muse)  

 It gets too a point where you either submit or admit …noir . Submit means go to your elders and tell them okay i’ve messed up and i want to listen. What do i have to do from here on out. The elders always want what’s best for you. Arguments are outlets of  frustration of having to accept you/they  must learn on your own. What do i have to do too fix this ? . If you don’t have that ability  to swallow that pride  you must then Admit. 

Do it yourself admit your  issues… admit your flaws… admit the negatives and honestly sit within yourself and tackle them  one by one. You protect yourself …your spiritual energy most importantly …it’s not being hard too get its being hard on yourself …your challenging regrets…..Either way its pride you must overcome. She is light ..She is Strong …she is a being that means so much to me as a friend and as a woman. It seems like just nudes but to be let in an honest space for honest talk is priceless . Few will understand and many will try. If you get it cherish it….respect it be honest with yourself pause and understand the moments giving too you. 


It’s been ah while ….it continues lol (n). didn’t apply too fellowship too exert ego.Did it too learn barriers and what makes things deliverable. You break in and examine ppls style but dont realize its about deliverables…Is it print is it screen …is it handed ….. is it placed …and acceptance  …you learn and you repeat ….all you need is one good year…it’s not the end all…. its humility and what you do after….So it won’t hurt if you know deep down you need more but you have the understanding….just needed one more layer at the face level but its like lines in motion Kinetic Energy…from far.The shadows and geo shapes too  were cool  in observation.  No matter the display..seen setups of course there’s more to it but why stress on that …focus on yours it’s only been 5 years here….(n). advice your suffering just let life be….its funny tho one dude sat in front (n). with a camera and badge prior and got up and ran …all respect to him and his lane or thread but if he infront (n). ……what that mean ??  *nun crazy just transferring trains*


Filler episode 

Gave my ID in for something yesterday 

the eagerness was weird 

was it real ?

its weird too (n). 

saw Vince Staples visual memo  last night….it was read  

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